Vera Bradley

I like Vera Bradley. I like Vera Bradley because she has drive and ambition, and a clear mission: Friggin' quilts on Everything in the Whole Damn World.

Mostly, I like Vera Bradley because I like fashion trends that are EASILY RECOGNIZABLE. I see a quilt on some stuff, and I'm like, "Oh, hey! Vera Bradley!" And a lady is like, "It sure is! How did you know that? You must be a Sensitive Dude."

"As a matter of fact, I am," I say, smiling a cocky half-grin and raising an eyebrow. "You're welcome."

Sometimes I mix up my Veras and say "Vera Wang" instead of "Vera Bradley." Truth be told, Vera Wang's aesthetic sense lines up with mine a lot more, but I feel like Vera Bradley's attitude has gotta line up with mine. I'm an excitable guy. It doesn't take a lot for me to get enthusiastic about something. I know a lot of people read and enjoy Dinosaur Comics, but I don't know how many people relate to T-Rex as a character. I do. And that kind of single-minded excitement is how I imagine Vera Bradley goes about her business. I can see her goin' out for coffee, her friend points out a chair with a nice shape, and she gets all excited. "Hell, yeah! Bring it into the studio, let's put some quilts on it! While we're at it, let's see if we can engineer a way to quilt over this cinnamon shaker.. You know what would make those drapes better? If they were friggin' QUILTS!"

EDIT:
I have recently been informed that in addition to the quiltage, another Vera Bradley hallmark is the an inordinate number of pockets. I cannot express my approval of this deeply enough. I approve SO HARD. My favorite jacket is my favorite jacket primarily because it has pockets over nearly every square inch. There are pockets in the friggin' sleeve, and I keep pencils there. I feel like Inspector flippin' Gadget. From now on, I'll feel like Inspector Gadget, but also Vera Bradley.